Tune Your Drums

You can always spot a drummer that doesn't perform very often. Not only by the fact that they normally aren't very good, but there are other signs as well. For instance, the toms will be set up at awkward angles, indicating that the drummer in question is not very comfortable tearing down and setting up the set. However, the one that bothers me the most is more subtle, and is made more annoying by how easy it would be to fix.

You see, drummers that primarily play in their basements or garages hardly ever get the chance to hear someone else play their drums. By always being behind the kit, it's impossible to know how your drums, tuned the way that you have them tuned, sound from the viewpoint of the audience. Three things take place - first, the drummer's proximity to the drums makes them seem louder and snappier than they sound to the crowd, which is a natural effect of acoustics. Second, the drummer is, in a way, behind the sound. The drummer sits on the impact side of the instrument, and the air and sound is being projected forward, after it has a chance to ring through the wood of the drum, the resonant head, and whatever mics have been set up. Third, the sound of the drums is dampened by the sound of all the other instruments on stage. To get an idea of what this sounds like, it is exactly like putting studio rings or masking tape on the drums - the sound is muffled, shorter, and darker.

The end result is that the drummer is back there rocking away, and the audience is hearing mud. The muffling effect is most noticeable on the snare drum - get up behind the drummer, and the snare sounds poppy and sharp. Move to the front of the stage with the crowd, and it is almost indistinguishable from the music, meaning it can't project that essential backbeat and give the song any rhythm. This is extremely common with broken dreams bands and weekend warrior cover bands. Having never played a show where drummers share a set, or stood in the crowd while a friend sat in, the player never realizes how bad their set sounds.

There is a simple solution to this - TUNE YER GODDAM DRUMS. Take a drum key and actually tune your drums, and listen. The snare should be sharper and more "ringy" than you want it to actually sound to the crowd. The toms should ring for just a little longer than you want them to, and this is easily controlled with any of the million drum muffling products on the market. With every part of your kit projecting a little more sound than you think is appropriate, the sound that will actually cut through the band will sound natural, lively, and genuine. In other words, good. If your drums are being mic'ed, a lot of this problem goes away.

Yeah, nothing really funny in this one. It's just a pet peeve.

Woodward Cover Letter

This is the cover letter that we send out with the press kits. Is eye-catching, no?

______________________________________________________

Dear (Name),

Allow me, if I may, to introduce you to the remarkable phenomenon that is Woodward. I can, without a shadow of a doubt, tell you that if you stop any person on the street in Detroit and ask them if they know about Woodward, they will react as though you have asked them if they could count up to three. Quick side note, did you know you can use Woodward to water your lawn? That is, as long as you don’t mind mowing it ever hour, for the rest of your life. And now back to the point.

Woodward would be just fine rocking the bones of Detroit. However, the stars beckon, and the music cannot be contained. Also, to deny the world the chance to listen to Woodward would be travesty of the highest order. In order to reach every corner of this flat, flat Earth, we will need your help. We will need your guidance and experience to help us move to the next level, and coat the country with the music of Woodward.

So, please peruse the attached media kit. At your leisure. I invite you to discover the most original and enjoyable band to come out of Detroit in years. I invite you to discover why:

· We leave every show with a suitcase full of panties, and one jock strap (there’s always one).
· The band house stands on a single precipice of rock, surrounded by a crater.
· Other bands leave our shows faced with the question, “Do I go practice, or burn my instrument?”
· Venues prepare for our arrival by boarding windows and reinforcing any load-bearing supports.
· People, the world over, will find something in Woodward that is special, and they will want more.

We hope you feel the same way about the music that we do.

Cordially,


Woodward